Even Fat Dudes Can Have Lady Troubles.

Just another day at work: the one legged beauty and personal trainer, Stacey, flits in and sits across from me. I would have been able to see her if it weren't for the ginormous poster of Jabba the Hut and his goals on her table. The fat man decoration on her desk must have really turned her on. I guess it was for the best. I would have never gotten any work done. Meanwhile, Stacey seemed to think I was a lazy immature idiot. In retrospect, I heard the terms immature, lazy, and idiot a lot between being a teenager until about the age of twenty three. I had a girlfriend in California and we had been having troubles prior to me moving to Ohio. We had gotten back together for the week before I left Cali with the understanding that when I went to to Ohio I was going to sow my wild oats. I actually told her, "sow my wild oats". I had stayed in contact with her since I had moved, then I got a call from her the week before my birthday. She was coming out to visit me in the barren wasteland of Ohio. I did have a small predicament, as that very morning I had asked Stacey to go to the KISS/Poison concert with me on July 13, the day after my birthday. She said she would have to check her schedule. She may have thought I was an idiot but she also flirted with me a lot. I think she was either blind or a chubby chaser. Who would have thunk it? A guy who made the lady in Who's Eating Gilbert Grape look slender would have women troubles? Then again, I was an immature idiot. Very quickly, I would have to figure something out, before my old life and my new life collided into an explosion of mass proportions.